Carlin was born May 12, 1937 in New York, New York.
Carlin was my favorite comedian. He is an example why I am grateful for having lived in period of life, so far, that includes his comedic insights. Carlin was philosophical. He was also an artist.
To read more about George Carlin, here is the page from Wikipedia: George Carlin.
Here are some videos [strong content] of George Carlin:
Here are some quotes from George Carlin:
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
“When you’re born, you get a ticket to The Freak Show. When you’re born in America, you get a front row seat.”
“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
“Religion is just mind control.”
“I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a guy nailed to two pieces of wood.”
“Religion has actually convinced people that there’s an invisible man living in the sky—who watches everything you do; every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things He does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever—’til the end of time! But, He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He’s all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise—somehow, [He] just can’t handle money!”
“You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar.”
“At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.”
“The status quo sucks.”
“Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.”
“When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. It will not be with jack-boots. It will be Nike sneakers and Smiley shirts.”
“Boy, these conservatives are really something, aren’t they? They’re all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you’re born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don’t want to know about you. They don’t want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care, no day care, no Head Start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no Welfare, no nothing. If you’re preborn, you’re fine; if you’re preschool, you’re fucked.”
“If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to have selfish, ignorant leaders.”
“The next time they give you all that civic bullshit about voting, keep in mind that Hitler was elected in a full, free, democratic election.”
“Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, for strip-mined mountain’s majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America! Man sheds his waste on thee, and hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea.”
“I do this real moronic thing. It’s called thinking. And I’m not a very good American, because I like to form my own opinions.”
“I don’t have pet peeves—I have major, psychotic, fucking hatreds!”
“I don’t like ass-kissers, flag-wavers, or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: ‘Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you: “There is no I in team.”’ What you should tell them is: ‘Maybe not. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity.'’”
“May the forces of evil be confused on their way to your house.”
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death! What’s that—a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first; get it out of the way. Then you live in an old-age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young; you get a gold watch; you go to work. You work forty years, until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol; you party; you get ready for high school. You go to grade school; you become a kid; you play; you have no responsibilities; you become a little baby; you go into the womb; you spend your last nine months floating; and you finish off as an orgasm.”
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